In our Clothing Department Now!!

'THE LAMENT' SHROUD-WAVING RANGE 
We've been making our highly sought after shrouds since 1707. Wear one of these and you'll instantly garner more unwarranted support for the unionist cause. This new line incorporates everything that any 'Bitter Together' British nationalist would want in the run-up to Salmond's break-up referendum:  

* Dull and shapeless, will suit any moribund unionist.

* Sleepwalk to the separation vote in our fetching raiment!  

* Fully biodegradable, guaranteed until autumn 2014.  

* Anas Sarwar says: "That's just not credible. I wouldn't be seen dead without one!"

* Media version available, as modelled by Alan Cochrane, Kaye Adams, Michael Kelly, Kirsty Wark, Tom Peterkin, Alf Young, Angus McLeod, Gordon Brewer, Lorraine Davidson, Magnus Gardham etc, etc. 

WAVE YOURS WITH PRIDE!!