Saturday 20 June 2015

Labour Leadership Kit


LABOUR LEADERSHIP KIT

With nominations now closed The Scaremonger is pleased to announce that we can now supply our exclusive 
"Labour Leadership Kit" 


No would-be Labour leader will want to try and tackle this most thankless of tasks without the best possible advice and equipment. The Scaremonger "Labour Leadership Kit" includes a range of helpful items including;


  • Parliamentary Invisibility Cloak
  • Map of  Nowheresville and Shit Creek County
  • Canoe (no paddles included)
  • No picnic
  • Set of Lang Spoons
  • Brown Trousers
  • Snakeskin Gloves
  • Poison Chalice
  • Pack of Cards with additional jokers
  • Tin Ear
  • Key to a darkened room
  • Pair of incompetence pants
  • A New Broom with replaceable head and handle
  • A stab proof frontless vest
  • Union Tie (optional)
  • An unused policy forum
  • Knee protectors
  • Copy of the "Jim Murphy Guide to Electoral Success"
  • Laminated copy of the Scottish Labour Westminster MP Group directory